But I have to prepare, that is what Type A personalities do. My mind is constantly racing with of all the things I need to accomplish, I can’t sleep because the list is long in my head, my heart is aching with having to say good bye when I just said hello and my hands wringing with worrying about how my children will adjust. I have a five-year-old daughter that has lived in four states and soon could be two countries. I have a son who doesn’t transition well at all. I’m filled with anxiety and I’m tired.
I’ve feel like I have PMS for my PCS. It’s funny, I know, but seriously, these feeling are real and – no joke, they have a name – it’s a called transitional anxiety.
I’m just not ready to move and I needed help to work out what I was feeling. So, I called an expert – one of my best friends from high school, Kaerensa Craft, who just happens to be a practicing licensed psychotherapist in New York City with an office in FlatIron area. She’s the real deal and a real friend. She knows me – all of it. She knows my life, up and downs, has travelled great distances to visit my family and me over the years. She was the perfect one to talk to about this. After a phone call and a great email exchange, she suggested a few tips for me (and you) to follow when I begin to feel the symptoms overwhelm me.
Here’s a snip-it from my email exchange with Kaerensa Craft (aka milspouse whisperer) outlining transitional anxiety and steps we can take to work through it. It’s a little self-care military spouse style. Because, as military spouses, we usually take care of everyone else around us and leave ourselves to the scraps. No more, not this move! I’m getting ahead of it this PCS by understanding what I’m feeling and tackling my PMS for my PCS head on.
Four Easy Steps to Ease Transitional Anxiety
From Kaerensa Craft, Psychotherapist, CLSW and CASAC.
“When people experience transitional anxiety, they are likely experiencing two sets of issues:
First, people naturally feel anxious about whether everything is going to work out–for example, worrying about whether they and their families will find acceptance in this new place, and what will happen if they don’t. Thoughts like these may lead one to feel nervous, desperate, maybe even reckless.
Second, a transition like relocation means having to cope with numerous losses–loss of friends and supports, status, routine, and familiarity. And loss results in sadness, lack of enjoyment, crying, sleep disruption, difficulty concentrating, and feeling overwhelmed. For military families, these normal reactions are hugely compounded by the lack of predictability around when and how often relocation takes place.”
