WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Help your returning spouse find a meaningful role at home. Household chores and childcare tasks help service members reconnect.
PTSD comes in a package with other problems, including headaches, memory problems, sleep disturbance and binge drinking, says Marmar. Sexual intimacy may diminish because partners feel distant or because they’re afraid of sexual violence. “Recognize these problems are not your fault and encourage your spouse to seek care,” Marmar says. “These are the problems of the soldier, not the spouse.”
“Avoidance and emotional numbing contribute most to separation and divorce,” Taft says. Service members may avoid talking about their feelings because they want to protect their partners from pain.
“Let your spouse know that you can handle it and want to know how he’s feeling,” Taft says. Be encouraging and patient. You can’t make someone do what he doesn’t want to do.
Couples therapy can help. The Strength at Home Program that Taft developed with colleagues at the NCPTSD in Boston teaches service members and couples how to minimize conflict, manage anger and increase communication. The Military Family Clinic at NYU also offers counseling services for military members and their families.
If these programs aren’t close to home, contact Military OneSource to find one that is. Battle stress affects both of you. Fight back together.
