Avoiding Caregiver Burnout
Take Good Care of Yourself
When you promised to love your spouse in sickness and in health, you probably didn’t imagine the difficulties of caring for a wounded warrior. Doctor’s visits, medical bills, and extra parenting and household responsibilities demand enormous physical and emotional energy. Caregivers may grieve the loss of the relationship they shared with their spouse before battle-related injuries occurred, or feel guilty for wanting a little time and space for themselves. And they may put aside their personal care while focusing on the person they love.
“How you manage your role as caregiver is extremely important because your emotions and actions can affect your spouse’s recovery,” says Dr. Holly Parker, a clinical psychologist at the Edith Nourse Rogers Memorial Veterans Hospital in Bedford, Mass.
It’s also important-and not something to feel guilty about-to make sure your own needs are met. It can help to keep these four steps in mind:
#1 DON’T LET YOUR CAREGIVING ROLE ECLIPSE YOUR IDENTITY
You can create a healing and supportive environment, but Parker says “no matter how hard you try, you cannot make your spouse get better.”
#2 FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
“It’s a good idea to get informed about your spouse’s condition,” Parker says. Knowledge about common symptoms puts your partner’s behavior in perspective and decreases the chance that you’ll misinterpret it. Being informed can also help you cope more effectively. When you can label a problem behavior-such as emotional numbing-you are less likely to take it too personally, Parker says. You’ll also be better prepared for the ups and downs of caregiving if you know what to expect.
