I have received criticism for working too much on the org, not having kids yet, too focused on me. What about my poor husband? Been there ladies? Work hard but then have babies, what is wrong with you? My husband finally became non-deployable and then this happened: I got a call out of the blue from my old life to come back for a lot of money.
I lost all color in face. Why now? Why couldn’t this have happened when he was deployed? We talked in depth about it numerous times and we decided this could change our stars for the rest of our lives and actually AFFORD to have children. Kids aren’t cheap, why did people think I worked so hard to get my org to a position of funding so we could AFFORD a future for us and not leave it on my husband’s shoulders.
He wants to do 20 years and that’s awesome! BUT shouldn’t he have a choice? Shouldn’t he be able to say “I’m ready to get out” and not feel guilty as we work as a team to build a nest egg? We are a team; our roles are just different but come together. From the outside people are judging me for taking this job and moving back to the east coast to change our stars, but ask my husband what he thinks.
He is so proud of my bravery for us.
I didn’t want to get on that plane. I didn’t have to and I could have just stayed. Everyone is so quick to think I’m some selfish, self-indulgent individual not making the biggest sacrifice I have ever made to give him a choice and to not fall financially to the way side when we have children.
It would be nice to buy what we need without having to ask for anything and just go get it when we need it. My mom hugged me when I got here and said, “Sweetie, you’re shaking.” I said to her, “Am I doing the right thing for us? I just left my little girl (Serenity, black lab of 13 years) and my husband to build our life but everything in me wants me to go home.”
My first week, I fell and got a concussion and ended up in the ER at Walter Reed while starting my new job and then my little girl went to keep God company.
Needless to say, concentration on the new job has been a struggle and my military spouse friends have been incredible to support me in everything from bringing me flowers or air mattresses because I don’t have a stick of furniture here. It doesn’t fit in a carry on.
I confess all of this to let you know I don’t care what other people think I SHOULD be doing that would make THEM be happier with my actions anymore.
This awful, heart-crushing sacrifice will change our stars for the rest of our lives so if I have to do it, I will. It sucks; it’s the hardest thing I have ever done in my life to decide to leave when I finally have my husband when I don’t have to and I know one day we will look back at this and smile and know we will cheers on a dinner cruise and say we did it as a team.
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