Ever get anxious about homecoming? Worried about what are you going to wear, when your spouse returns? How will that first kiss from them feel? Will they like the new décor? Every spouse thinks about these things.
Homecomings are an exciting time for any military spouse. The servicemember returns, and the honeymoon period commences. But what happens after that? Let’s talk about that transition period of reintegration. Oftentimes, it is a smooth and open process, but what about the times when it’s not? When the kids are not adapting well, when your service member isn’t adapting well, or when you aren’t adapting well.
My husband’s first deployment was a long one. 12 months and R&R at month 9. This was before Facetime, Messenger, and any app that gave you an instant connection with your spouse. These were the days of waiting for phone calls and letters, in the mail. Facebook wasn’t popular yet and getting an email was the quickest way of connecting. During my spouses first deployment, we lived in Hawaii. For R&R, we decided to meet up in his hometown on the mainland. Can you believe I’d never met his family before then? We were from opposite ends of the country and got married after knowing each other for only a few weeks (read about that here!)
I was excited and nervous. Well, mostly nervous, because I hadn’t seen him in almost a year, and I was meeting my in-laws for the first time. R&R finally came. I flew to the mainland and got a hotel room, so we could spend the two weeks… Well you know. The trip started off great! We were visiting his family during the day and hanging out with friends and each other during the evenings. We were drinking a lot. At one point during our visit my husband broke down. One minute he was fine, and the next he was curled up in a ball on the floor panting. I wasn’t sure what was happening. I didn’t know what to do. I did my best to console him. This only lasted a moment before everything was back to normal… Or so I thought.
I got pregnant during that visit. I returned to our post alone, as he did Iraq. I began to worry about what was happening to him. Was he okay? I wasn’t sure. As homecoming day arrived, I was anxious. He was different, I knew it… I felt it.
