Want to Meet Your Neighbors? Buy a Watermelon.

I've been pretty successful lately on the friendship-dating scene. Actually, I'm quite the player these days. However, I need to crack a bigger nut: my civilian neighbors. Getting to know your new civilian neighbors is more challenging than getting to know your military neighbors. It's a strange dance, completely based on timing, between you and the strangers that live next to you. You have to see them as they are either leaving or arriving home. You have to be outside at the right moment to scout their family dynamic and make your introductions. It's hit or miss. It's maddening! I decided it was time to scour my new neighborhood for a friendship match. I needed to know them as much they should want to know me. I have much to offer to my new neighbors; I'm fun to be around, darn it! . . . said the girl sitting alone. C'mon! I love to laugh, cook and, more importantly, I like wine. There has to be one or two of my neighbors who would be willing to sit on the porch with me on Friday night sipping a glass of merlot, watching the kids chalk up the sidewalks. Anyone? Just clink your wine glasses together and I'll hear the secret wine code of friendship. After a week or so, I've only casually waved to a few folks driving by. I even met two families who had similarly-aged children. But how do I contact them to see if they want to come over for coffee or a play date, or moms' play date with chardonnay? I literally have to tie my daughter up so she doesn't knock on their door every hour. The other neighbors look skittish every time I startle them by jumping out the door waving when someone walks by with their dog. Awkward. Doesn't anyone go outside anymore? Where are you people? What happened to welcoming your new neighbors, making them feel at home? I know, it's a dying tradition ruined by crazy people and hoarders. But, boy, it sure would be nice to bring it back again. I decided not to leave anything to chance. If they aren't going to knock on my door, then I will go to them! I have a trick that I used before to snag neighbor friends at our last assignment. The trick? Watermelons. Yep, that simple. I've only used it in a military community before so I'm unsure how it will work on civilians, but I am going in. I went to the local store and purchased several watermelons. It's summer and there are an abundance of watermelons at every grocery. Everyone loves watermelons but you can use almost any large fruit if you don't fancy the seedless wonder. I write my name and house number in large lettering on the outside of the watermelon with a Sharpie. I attach a little note introducing my family and myself and give them my contact info - email, phone number, blood type, background check, credit score . I also add the ages of my kids just in case they have munchkins tied up somewhere in the house and that's the reason the streets and yards are so desolate. I load up my 100 lbs of watermelons in the red wagon, grab the hands of my two cute kids, ( well, they are cute after I bathe them, brush their hair and wipe off the mac and cheese stains from their faces ) and head out the door to deliver my "Hello, didn't' you see the big moving truck? I'm new and I'm here!" gift. We knock on the first door; no one's home. I leave the watermelon on the porch. I knock on the next door; no one's home. I leave it on the porch. My daughter looks up at me and asks, "Why are we doing this, again?" Yes, sweet child, it is anticlimactic. I respond with my best teachers' voice, "We are acting liked gardeners. We are planting seeds of friendship with watermelons, hoping to grow friendships with our new neighbors." Every door we knocked on, no one was home. With sad faces, we dropped off each watermelon and went home . . . and waited. You've got mail! The next morning I woke up to an email from my next-doorneighbor. She told me that she loved the watermelon, that it was a clever idea and that she should have been the one to welcome me to the neighborhood. She went on tell me about herself, her family and that she was so excited to meet me. The next day, her entire family brought over a welcome basket filled with native Dayton, Ohio, goodies. It was so generous and thoughtful; I was a little teary-eyed. You've got mail, again! The next email was from the neighbor across the street. She proceeded to tell me they are retired military and understand how hard it is to meet new people when you move around so much. She appreciated the "fresh" approach. She told me all about her amazing family, neighborhood BBQs and pool parties. She closed by saying she couldn't wait to me in person. You've got mail, again and again and again!! To my delight, everyone whom I dropped off a watermelon with emailed to welcome us. I found a babysitter and had an intro to a few new kids so my children didn't have ride the bus to school with strangers. A retired military couple down the street invited me to a Labor Day pool party at their house. I was instantly added to the neighborhood/street Facebook group. Who knew they had one!? And I was even invited to fill in for someone in the neighborhood Bunco group. I met a dozen more people who lived behind me, next to me and across from me! It was wonderful. I felt like the belle of Basset Court. The best thing about my watermelon scheme is that I met that neighbor who I think will sit on the porch with me on a Friday night and sip on wine while we watch our children chalk up the sidewalks. She's pretty cool and I'm looking forward to getting to know her. I didn't leave anything to chance. If I want to make friends and feel like I'm part of a community, then I have to put myself out there. The good ol' days are gone; people are no longer going to knock on the door of a stranger who has moved in - even it the stranger is me. Like I told my daughter, we have to be the gardeners and plant the seeds of friendships. Even if the seeds are watermelons. Steal my watermelon idea the next time you PCS to a new neighborhood - because it works! Let's make it a military spouse tradition!

Want to Meet Your Neighbors? Buy a Watermelon.

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