You might have seen Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if…” bit he does. What would that sketch be like if it was about military spouses? I’ve assembled a few for your enjoyment below.
You might be a MilSpouse if…
You find little colorful numbered stickers on your furniture years after a move.
How do they stay on so long? Is it impressive or sad if I know how many moves a piece has survived by how many different colored stickers are still on it?
Should I take them off?
Probably.
Will I?
Probably not.
You might be a MilSpouse if…
You’ve tripped over their work boots so many times you’ve become used to it.
Is this a dance routine you have down to a science? Yes. Unless the boots are in a new place, and then you hope to high heaven you aren’t carrying your PCS folder with medical records, checklist, receipts, and orders in hand because reordering those will take a whole afternoon.
You might be a MilSpouse if….
You know precisely how long it’ll take you to pack a house just by looking at the rooms.
Are the movers coming next week? Yes? Then it’s okay. You only need to take out the trash, organize and move everyone’s live-out-of-a-suitcase-for-three-months-clothes to a single room, and tape it off.
Oh…decluttering might be a good idea too, but if it doesn’t happen, you can do that on the other side of unpacking. It’s not like you can truly deep clean till after they take everything away anyway.
You might be a MilSpouse if….
You add someone as an emergency contact after just meeting them.
Hi, I’m new here. Are you a serial killer? No? Can someone call you in case my kid at school is in trouble, and I can’t come? Yes? Fabulous. Oh, what’s your name again?
You might be a MilSpouse if….
You forget acronyms aren’t actual words everyone knows.
PCS, AFB, DEROS, CONUS/OCONUS, AFSC, TMO, and TLF are just some, and these are only the frequently used Air Force ones I know. Let’s not even start on the Army and Marine’s acronyms.
You might be a MilSpouse if….
You know everything about your spouse’s coworkers, except for their first names.
Is Lawrence their first name? Last name? What should I call them? Why is it always so hard to remember?
As much of a wild ride being a MilSpouse is with all the ups and downs, we might as well laugh about it. Share this article with your own “You might be a MilSpouse if…” answers and join in on the fun.
