3. Empower your partner
Being a part of the military comes with the risk of confronting some highly traumatic events, like facing combat, losing friends in war, or being the victim of a sexual assault.
These distressing circumstances can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), suicide attempts, depression, and other physical and mental health concerns.
As spouses, when we see our partners suffering this way, we want to fix the problem and make it go away. However, empathy requires us to think differently when helping our partners heal from trauma.
Instead of trying to find a solution, we can use our empathy by empowering our partners to be in control of their own recovery.
Rather than being forceful by demanding our spouses seek therapy or talk more about what happened, we can discuss options with them and let them know that we are unconditionally there for them, regardless of how they decide to cope.
Empathy does not require that we agree with someone’s actions or feelings; it requires that we acknowledge and understand that everyone reacts to trauma or grief differently.
While these are great skills to have, using empathy can be tiring especially when we let our loved ones’ emotions start to weigh down on us. This is why it’s essential that we also take care of ourselves by using the same skills we use with our spouses with ourselves, like listening to our own thoughts and needs, refraining from being overly critical of our decisions, and allowing ourselves space and time to heal from trying times.
Using empathy isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it when it leads to strong relationships with our spouses, a better understanding of ourselves, and the ability not only to see but also feel what the people in our life are going through.
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