Empower YOU Panel of Milspouses
Moderator: MJ Boice, in-house staff writer, National Military Family Association
Panel members:
- Holly Vega, stay-at-home parent, 2017 Quantico Base Spouse of the Year
- Brittany Boccher, advocate, 2017 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year
- Lauren Hope, entrepreneur for-profit, 2017 United States Military Academy Spouse of the Year
- Verenice Castillo, entrepreneur nonprofit, 2013 Armed Forces Insurance Air Force Spouse of the Year
- Jennifer Mullen, business professional, Verizon Wireless, 2016 Armed Forces Insurance Coast Guard Spouse of the Year
TAKEAWAYS:
Why do you do what you do?
“We pursue this niche because we have to. I’ve strived to have my own circumstance aside from the military. I like my own identity. What that means for me is I work and have something I’m passionate about. It’s whatever is appropriate for me in that season of my life. It’s a chosen reason.” ~Mullen
“I’m not in my husband’s shadows. I’m equally beside you. I am a volunteer. I am proud to be a volunteer and serve my community wherever I go and my children get to see that.” ~Vega
“We all have a purpose. It took one day for me to start meeting families for me to realize why didn’t I choose to do this sooner? Then I started getting more involved until there was no turning back. If I was going to do this, I would do it all the way. Running a nonprofit can be crazy and overwhelming. My husband will tell me to remember why you’re doing this. It’s not about you; it’s about those who you serve. That will always be my why.” ~Castillo
How do you measure success with what you want to do?
“At the end of the day, it’s about happiness. That’s it. I don’t need accolades or recognition. It’s if I’m happy with what I did that day when I lay my head down on my pillow at night. I don’t measure success over time; it’s literally each day.” ~Boccher
“We’re all here for a reason and I’d like to know that reason. The tribe I surround myself with is success. I’m a professionally trained chef by trade. After my son was diagnosed with multiple food allergies I had to stop everything that identified me to take care of him. Life changes. Priorities change. My family comes first. I’ve had a hard time identifying with my new life. Jewelry has always been a hobby but when cooking went out and I needed another creative outlet, jewelry came in. I’m flattered and honored it’s taken off.” ~Hope
All of the panelists agreed spouses need to ask the questions about what they can do to help and have a meaningful answer when someone asks them how they can help. Junior or senior spouse, moving is still scary. Find an organization, go in and tell them what you can offer. Ensure you share a mutual vision. If visions aren’t in alignment, you’ll end up following someone else’s rather than yours. “There is someone out there with your vision and passion who will want to work you.” Also be sure to ask for a seat at an organization’s table; you might be surprised how many tell you to pull up a chair and join.
Mentorship also is important. Find at least one mentor you can talk to; these people can change based on what season of life you’re in. It’s about building a whole support system.
Do three things: Embrace military life, embrace military community and embrace opportunities afforded to you as military spouses because they are abundant.
