2. The One Upper: ‘Anything you can do, I can do better.’
You’ve had a bad day: your kids were up all night with the flu, you awake to find a new dent in your car, the weather report says school is cancelled … again … for the third day in a row. You’re tired, you’re cranky, and gosh darnit, you just want a little support. That’s when you make the mistake of reaching out to the One Upper. She’s also experienced a bad day in the past, except hers was worse — her spouse was deployed, her car was totaled, and so on and so on. Whatever you went through couldn’t possibly be as bad as what she went through. And the same goes for the reverse: if you accomplish something truly remarkable, well, she has also done the same, but against tougher odds and with much, much more success.
Even worse, once she has children, it’s likely she’ll use them as a weapon to pump up her security. Her children will always, always top yours. You’re thrilled to share that your child took her first steps? Guess what? Hers did too! Only four or five months before yours. Social media likes to call these women, ‘MommyJackers,’ or ‘DaddyJackers,’ but they are really ‘LifeJackers,’ because they take your need for support or recognition in a situation and use it against you.
If you find yourself in a friendship with a One Upper, you might feel belittled, insecure, that your feelings and experiences are unimportant and/or small. Once you discover the pattern, you can choose to walk away, or you could find the humor in the situation-just know you that if you have good or bad news to share, find a better friend than this one.
