5 Movies to See Instead of 50 Shades of Grey

If you have any sort of online presence, you already know 50 Shades of Grey has sparked a serious debate. Critics point to the book and movie’s unhealthy depiction of relationships and its inaccurate portrayal of the BDSM community, and supporters defend its ability to get people talking about sex and exploring their own desires... Full disclosure: I haven’t read the books in their entirety or seen the movie, so I cannot give a truly unbiased or informative opinion. However, from what I’ve heard and the bits and pieces I’ve read, I’m not a big fan of either the plot line or characters. Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey’s relationship romanticizes emotional and physical abuse, and perpetuates a rape culture that tells us women always want it, even if they say no at first. There’s clear instances of sexual assault where Ana is forced or coerced into having sex, and the misogyny is rampant. I’m not suggesting that if someone enjoys 50 Shades of Grey that they are condoning abuse or are bad people. After all, there are far more violent, sexist movies and books out there. But what I do propose is to instead spend your hours watching a different type of romantic movie--one that promotes healthy relationships, respects women, and still make you feel sexy. More romantic military-themed movies ! (Side note: There are some serious spoilers here!) 1) My Big Fat Greek Wedding : When I first saw this movie, I fell in love with the eccentric and relatable characters. Fotoula “Toula” Portokalos, a Greek American woman, falls in love with Ian Miller, an English teacher from the United States. The two awkwardly and adorably meet, date, and fall in love. Toula’s parents are distraught due to the fact that their daughter has chosen a non-Greek, but the couple continues to see each other, and eventually gets engaged. In order to make Toula’s family happy, Ian even agrees to be baptized in the Greek Orthodox Church. Despite the fact that the characters’ families are nothing alike, the couple is able to effectively communicate, work past their struggles as a team, and accept each other’s differences. This movie is all about compromise—something 50 Shades of Grey is definitely lacking. 2.) A Walk to Remember It’s impossible not to cry while watching this heart-wrenching film. Landon Carter is your typical rebellious teenager who gets himself into trouble. When he’s forced to participate in a class play as punishment, he meets Jamie Sullivan, the local minister’s quiet, sweet, but unpopular daughter. Jamie offers to help Landon learn his lines, and despite Jamie’s warnings, Landon starts to fall in love with her. When Jamie tells Landon she has leukemia and hasn’t been responding to treatment, he stays by her side and helps her fulfill her list of things she wants to achieve in her life. The two get married, and Jamie dies shortly after. Landon and Jamie’s love story depicts true sacrifice and relentless love. Plus, Jamie is a brave, sensitive, insightful female lead with a strong sense of who she is and what her values are—something we don’t often see in movies. 3.) The Fault In Our Stars Another tearjerker, this movie tells the story of Hazel Grace Lancaster, a 16-year-old teen with thyroid cancer that spread to her lungs. Hazel meets 17-year-old Augustus Waters at a patients’ support group. Augustus has osteosarcoma, which caused him to lose his leg. The two quickly bond over Hazel’s favorite novel, Peter Van Houten’s An Imperial Affliction , about a cancer-stricken girl very similar to Hazel. Augustus tracks down Van Houten’s assistant and uses his own wish from the Genie Foundation (an organization based off of the Make-A-Wish Foundation) for her to go to Amsterdam to meet him. The combination of innocence, romance, and sorrow make the movie not only moving, but also appropriate for all ages. Hazel and Augustus respect each other, even when they disagree, never play games, and are able to grasp an important life lesson: Not all relationships last forever, but that doesn’t make them any less significant. 4.) The Office Okay, so this one isn’t a movie, but I had to include Pam Beesley and Jim Halpert’s amazing relationship in The Office . Jim and Pam are friends and coworkers for years, and they really get to know each other before they start dating. They support one another’s dreams and encourage each other to pursue them, even if it means they might have to be apart for a while (i.e., when Pam goes to art school, or when Jim starts a sports marketing business). They definitely make mistakes and have arguments, like most couples do, but they’re always able to get past it because of the strong foundation they built. Even after years of being married with kids, Jim and Pam are always playful and flirtatious. Basically, they’re the couple all couples watching the show aspire to be. 5.) The Notebook And of course, there’s The Notebook. Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton come from very different worlds, but their chemistry is undeniable. When Allie leaves to go to school in New York, Noah writes to her every day for a year. Allie’s mother hides the letters from her because of her disapproval of the relationship, and Allie gets engaged to another man. Eventually, Allie and Noah reconnect, and Allie realizes she made the wrong decision and breaks off her engagement. The couple grows old together, and even when Allie grows sick with dementia, Noah does not give up on her, committing all of his energy to ensuring her comfort and happiness. One of my favorite scenes in this movie is when Noah and Allie first have sex. There is no use of force or coercion, and they take it slow, consistently checking in with each other. Noah even asks her, “You alright? Did I hurt you?” and tells her, “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” This is one of the few representations of consensual sex you’ll see in the movies, and despite its awkwardness, it couldn’t be more sweet and romantic. Do you have a movie to add to the list? Add it to the comments below! Let’s be friends!

5 Movies to See Instead of 50 Shades of Grey

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