We were under the care of a German hospital, due to the fact that the closest military hospital was 4 hours away. Luckily, my husband is fluent in German and could handle the conversations with all of the doctors, but I know not everyone is so lucky. There were times when my husband could not be with me at the hospital, because he obviously had work obligations. Before his emergency leave was approved, I was at the hospital alone with our daughter and our infant son. I had never felt more alone in my life. Away from family, I had very few friends, and I was in a different country where healthcare is very different. Not necessarily a “bad different,” but different.
Doctors were immediately concerned about possible brain tumors due to my family history, but luckily, after 2 MRI’s, it was discovered that was not the case. I cannot even count how many times I prayed during those MRI’s that they would come back negative for any tumors. I also cannot even count how many times I cried while my husband fought back tears as he held me as tight as he could, trying to be strong for the both of us. We were truly living a nightmare. My husband did break down one time, when a doctor came in to inform us that one of our daughter’s MRI results was “concerning.” Military men are not made of steel when it comes to their kids or their family. No man is.
I then started to blame myself. Did I do something wrong during my pregnancy? Should I have been more persistent with doctors in the past when it came to figuring out what was wrong with her? The truth is, the doctor’s did not even know what to do or think, and I was as persistent as any parent would have been, but just like the doctors in Germany our past doctors were just as perplexed.
