In some respect we’ve all imagined it – the perfect scene in the climax of our own personal chick flick. Maybe you have envisioned yourself in a copycat passage from a Nicholas Sparks Novel, kissing your soul mate in a rainstorm. Maybe your role was more like a clip from Mr. and Mrs. Smith complete with high-speed chases; unrealistic car crashes, and a wickedly attractive spy as your sidekick. However you imaged love to be, chances are your definition has changed. What does a military kind of love look like? Here are a few traits I’ve observed.
1. Love is Consistent
I once sat in a room full of soldiers- a chief warrant officer approached me and made small talk. A passion fueled a subtle physical transformation in his demeanor as soon as he began to speak about his wife. “The most unique and noteworthy thing about her is her ability to always be the same. She’s the same person in her private and her public life, and that is something that I really admire about her,” he said almost in a form of reverence.
As I pondered his sweet statement I realized a very important aspect that most military relationships do and MUST inhabit. Deployment, TDYs, trainings, and other obligations often call our loved ones away from home. Our ability to be consistent is a key ingredient in our secret recipe. The meaning behind all those often viewed and even interpreted as cheesy t-shirts is true: “Always together, never apart- sometimes in distance but never in heart.”
2. Love is Ordinary
There are those moments when there actually are fireworks, when dances in the rain actually do happen, and maybe even Keith Urban wasn’t far off when he mentioned falling in love in a cop car, however, those moments though majestic and captivating as they may seem don’t always paint the most accurate picture of every day, uneventful love. Love is mundane, messy, and even frustrating at times.
Love is quietly pouring a bowl of cereal for your sweetheart, or leaving a post it note on the mirror. Love is not being completely disgusted when your baby spits up in your mouth. Love is pajamas, movie nights, grocery shopping, holding hands, laughing at YouTube videos, and gourmet meals consisting of breakfast for dinner. Love is devoting time and energy to magnifying someone else’s happiness in lieu of your on convenience. Love doesn’t need public recognition, or 1,000 likes on instagram, love is content with being underwhelming and comfortable.