1. Try to understand where they are coming from
We’ve all heard this one before, but let’s take it a step further and actually consider where they literally came from. One of the best parts of living the military life is getting to meet, know and love people from all walks of life.
All of those things that make them interesting to us are also those things that have been shaped by where they’ve been, what they’ve done and how they were raised.
Their beliefs have a lot to do with those experiences.
2. Try not to take it personally
This one is difficult, I realize that. So let’s flip the script.
If the conversation starts to take on a combative tone, let’s ask ourselves why. Our beliefs make up a significant part of who we are at our core.
It’s possible that we might feel as if our very identity is being questioned or attacked, when that wasn’t our friend’s intention AT ALL.
Just try to think about where the other person is coming from.
3. Find your common ground
Even though we come from all sorts of backgrounds, there are still those key issues that impact us all– yet we STILL have to respect the opinions and beliefs of others.
When we find ourselves moving toward the point of no return in a political discussion, let’s make a pact to consciously move the discussion from “Me against You” to “Us against the WORLD”.
4. Walk AWAY
Let me clarify: If we’re in a slowly-getting-heated debate and our BFF is in the middle of throwing down their pundit skills, we should NOT turn on our heels and start “chuckin’ up the deuces” in order to avoid further damage.
What I AM saying is that if we are fairly certain about our reactions to certain topics, then let’s walk away from the mere idea of said topic.
Example: I have these two mil-friends who have known each other for a little under two decades. One of them is very vocal with her political opinions and beliefs and the other stands more on the “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil” side of things. Every single election cycle, they unfriend one another on social media and the subject of politics is completely off limits when they hang out. Once the election is over, they re-add each other and all is good.
This is a conscious choice that they have both worked out, because they know each other (and themselves) THAT well. After nearly 2 decades of friendship, deployments, holidays, babies and the loss of family and friends, their relationship will not play second fiddle to controversial topics.
This is how we should all agree to disagree.
These are just a few suggestions based on my own experiences, but there are all sorts of ways to preserve our relationships through good times and bad.
So tell us: How do YOU choose to handle sensitive topics in YOUR relationships?
