Last November I was performing at the Homeward Bound Telethon in Los Angeles. The telethon featured a group of celebrities, public figures, and artists…all there to raise money for veterans. It was a great event. As I was standing backstage with the other choir members waiting to go on stage, a Vietnam vet started reading a poem he wrote about PTSD. It was raw, intimate, and powerful. Sobbing as I listened to him, it was almost more than I could bear listening to any longer. The things this man had seen and experienced as a veteran were astounding. This telethon was the last performance in a weeklong tour we had been on, sharing music to support our military and their families. We were all emotionally and physically spent. Hearing the veteran speak almost brought me to my knees.
One of our music directors pulled me aside and told me he was concerned for me. He thought I was much too immersed in the military-life culture and that was not good for me. My life was very much all about military spouse life.
I disagreed with him. Our veterans, military members and their families were too important. I loved the work I was doing and felt like I was making a difference. How could that be bad? How could that be harmful?
But he was right. It was all taking a toll on me. Yes, those things are still important and I will ALWAYS be a part of helping the community. I adore it and believe 100% that our veterans, military, and their families deserve our support.
Looking back, I wish I had taken his advice then. Or the advice of others along the way who told me I needed to step back and be involved with something that was completely separate from military life. It is where I am now, and I am grateful to have found a pretty good balance. I can still make a difference, be involved…and not be completely burned out in the process.
Because when I am a healthier person, I am able to give more to my husband who is currently still serving and will one day be a veteran. When I am not as stressed out, I am able to be a better mother to the military kids in my life. When I am not as weary, I am able to be a better advocate of the military community for the long haul.
The advice I wish I had taken sooner is this: take a step back, find your passion, follow your dreams…be more than just a military spouse.
Do you have something profound and important to offer the world outside of the military-life culture?
Yes. A million times, yes.
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