People ask me what they can do to help and I still have no idea. There is still a trial for me to attend, in Federal Court. My husband now is behind bars awaiting that trial. Most days I don’t know what is even going on with the case. At this point, I am just doing what I can think of to provide and care for my family…and I can just hope and pray that the decisions I am making from day to day are the right ones. Because I don’t know. I am so conflicted about everything. I know the right thing would be to file for divorce…I know most of you are wondering if I have. But every day I pray about it…and every single day I doubt the wisdom in making that choice.
Please, I am asking you…as a military spouse, hope for the best…but prepare yourself for the unknown, or in my case the worst. We have been married well over a decade. I had become comfortable in my role. This is not just a warning to new spouses, but to seasoned spouses as well. Sometimes a new spouse can bounce back from something like this…but what do you do when you have spent your entire adult life investing in someone else’s career, and then they betray you and leave you with nothing? It is hard to start over from the bottom. I truly hope that no one reading this will ever have to endure the heartache that continues for our family. But I am not the first spouse to find themselves in a similar position…and I won’t be the last. Please create a back-up plan and take the time to do what YOU need to do while you are supporting your military member’s career.
Editors note: We realize that this story is not a common occurrence in the military community. However, it is a cautionary tale. There are other scenarios that would leave a spouse in a similar financial position, and we have heard too many stories of spouses who were caught unprepared and really had to struggle. Yes, we believe supporting your service member’s career is important. We also believe having a back-up plan and taking the time to make sure you could be self-sufficient if the need arose is important as well.
Lastly…comments on this post will be moderated carefully. We are asking you to remember that this spouse is hurting and has opened herself up to lots of criticism by sharing this.
