4) Pranksters
No, this bullet point is NOT a challenge. I am not kidding. Ask my husband or any other person who really knows me. I do not like pranks. In fact, I will disown, de-friend or divorce the person who thinks it is funny to pour cold water on me while I am in the shower, or jump out from a bush to scare me, or engage in an April Fools joke at my expense. I don’t find those entire shows dedicated to trying to induce heart failure for a few laughs to be entertainment. They are awful and I fully support any frivolous law suits that hold up our court systems if they are directed at those shows. There is a reason I won’t click on a link that someone posts to my Facebook wall this time of year. Halloween is notorious for pranks… toilet papering, flaming poop in a bag, and eggs thrown on cars. That is destruction of property folks, not good fun. Yes, I am the person who will call the police and file a report on your teenager when I catch them doing any of these things. I told you, I am the Scary Scrooge. Don’t mess with me.
3) Being Scared
Apparently, some folks like this. I don’t get it. There are enough things about my real life that scare me, thank you very much. Why in the world would I get enjoyment out of someone chasing me through some haunted house with a chain saw? You want scary? Try having a toddler puke on you, in YOUR bed, in the middle of the night…while your husband, the sympathy puker, runs for the hills. I have a hard enough time sleeping on duty nights as it is… I don’t need to seriously consider wetting the bed because I am too scared to walk to the bathroom after recalling the plot of a horror movie. No thank you.
