When you are a spouse of a lower-ranking servicemember you won’t have as many opportunities to lead other spouses, but that is simply because you are new yourself — unless you are in a unique position where you were once active duty, your spouse was prior enlisted and is now a commissioned officer, or you were a military brat, in which case your knowledge of military life will be crucial to your counterparts.
But even if you are a “new” spouse, that doesn’t mean you can’t be involved! Each branch of the military runs their family life a little differently but there is usually a civilian or a servicemember that works to support the families of the unit. They will be the ones organizing family events and supporting families during deployments, and they are always looking for volunteers to help. Attending events put on by the unit or by another spouse are also great ways to get involved.
As your spouse pins on rank, you may find that your “responsibility” as a spouse also increases. If your servicemember has other Marines, soldiers, sailors or airmen that he/she is leading, then you can bet your bottom dollar that many of them will have spouses that would love a support system. Start organizing small coffee dates, lunches, or playdates. Help organize mando-fun events like chili cookouts or family days.
The ultimate goal of any family readiness program is to help support the mission so talk to, engage with and listen to other spouses because if they feel supported they will help to support their servicemember.
At the command level is where you will find most of opportunities to lead other spouses. This may include engaging and attending official classes offered to new spouses, organizing rank-wide lunches and speaking to other spouses in more formal settings. Your experience in military life will come in handy during this time, and many of your discussions will be a direct result of what you have learned, seen, or experienced over the years.
Not all spouses like to be a part of their servicemember’s career, and that is understandable. We military spouses often have jobs, kids and other responsibilities that take us away from being an active presence. And some spouses are a bit more introverted. All of these “responsibilities” discussed above are not outlined in any official handbook and you won’t get a spousal NJP (that’s not a real thing) for not hosting a monthly coffee event. They are simply unspoken responsibilities that have been passed down through generations of military spouses and we can do with it what we like.
A spouse of a higher ranking servicemember has an opportunity to lead other spouses and to create the leaders of future military spouses. We can give back to our unique community by offering support, experiences and tips on how to tackle military life to the best of their ability. Although we may not be leading active duty servicemembers like our spouses, we are leading the most important people of their home life which, as we know, indirectly impacts their career and the mission.
