At a recent First Friday get together, most of the spouses found ourselves sitting in a circle on the carpeted floor of the main briefing room. (For no apparent reason, we ignored the 100+ chairs that were available.) Looking at the group, it was somewhat funny to see us planted on the carpet, partially blocking a door, eating smoked pork, talking and passing around babies, some of whom had deployed fathers.
But, it also made perfect sense. Frequent functions had brought us together, and the newer spouses had settled into the group of established spouses. We were relaxed and open, sitting together in the spirit of friendship, community, and support. If it hadn’t been for First Fridays and other “mandatory” functions, a lot of the spouses wouldn’t know each other. When I think of that possibility, I can’t think it would be anything other than a real shame.
So, as someone who is a self-proclaimed Mandatory Fun Enthusiast, let me encourage anyone who’s never taken part in such events to consider attending the next one. Any time I’ve been shy or hesitant, I have always left with a relaxed and cheerful heart. And, never in 11 years have I found myself in a predicament like Liz Lemon’s staff did – stuck at a boring party, which was ultimately broken up by an angry Rottweiler, who was appeased only when we sacrificed the boss … nope, definitely never happened. What I have experienced, is that generally everyone wants to welcome and support any spouse who walks through the door, even if they’ve rarely attended such events in the past.
Knowing the spouses in our units is important, and mandatory fun fosters an environment where important relationships can grow. To be sure, we will make friends through other channels, and maintain the relationships from previous assignments; but, building relationships with spouses in each unit is like constructing a firm foundation for our homes.
When life-changes occur, from the good to the tragic, we’ll need an organized group of people who can step in immediately to help us, coordinate others, and maintain stability in times of unrest. If nothing else, we want to trust that people around us have our back and know in our hearts that we’ve got theirs.
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