People often talk about finding their tribe; part of military life is constant moving, which means we don’t have a lot of time to develop our tribes because we will be moving soon. Friendships happen fast, some out of necessity because you have just moved to a new state or country and your service member has deployed and you literally know not – a – single – soul.
You need these friends and they need you and nowhere else is this more apparent than in the military spouse community. We are often far away from family when things like childbirth happen or broken bones or sick kids or pet emergencies or cars break down.
There is no one else I would rather rely on than a fellow military spouse in the event of any one of these emergencies. We know how to organize a meal train to make sure a mom and her new baby are fed, we will be at the hospital to help you home after a fall or pick the kids up from school if you can’t drive – no questions asked – we know how to get road side assistance in any country at any time or just change the tire ourselves. We can organize and execute any event function or service, planned or unplanned, with or without notice.
This community believes in each other, they celebrate one another’s successes and know how to have a damn good time. Remember, a lot of military life can suck, this group knows how to make it suck a whole lot less.
We are blind to our differences. We can’t afford not to be. Our diversity isn’t something that separates us. We are every race, gender, religion, ethnicity, belief system, parents and non-parents. And we manage to function as a group successfully because we all unite as military spouses. We celebrate homecomings even if they are not for our service member, we celebrate milestones of others kids because we know how much their support means in return, we celebrate career success, educational success and fitness successes. We hold monthly ‘coffee’s’ where not a lot of coffee is actually had, but you can be sure there is plenty of laughter and probably some bunko being played.
Sure, a lot of these things are not unique to military spouses. Plenty of civilians have groups of friends that likely play these same roles in their lives. What is unique are the cultures we are exposed to, the timelines that are constantly changing, and the lingering unknown that is ever present. Rather than let these things defeat us, we let them shape us and help us grow.
As you prepare to move this summer or are in the middle of your move, remember that the amazing military spouse community you are leaving behind will be there for you at your next duty station. While you juggle a cross-country or global move with kids, pets, no less than eight pieces of luggage, don’t have your car, or phone, and still manage to keep your career in line (because your employer sees the enormous value that you bring to the table), just look for another military spouse, we get you and we are here to support you.
Beth has been an Army spouse for nine years. She is the Business Development director at ServingTalent, a boutique staffing agency for military and foreign service spouses and a CrossFit coach.
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