5. Be your own person.
Many military spouses only identify as a military spouse and nothing else. Prior to your relationship you had interests and hobbies. Make sure you keep those going. If the only thing you do is be a military spouse, you will go crazy. Continue your hobbies, find a job that suites who you are as a person, and be yourself. Your spouse fell in love with the person you are, don’t lose that.
6. Stay organized.
When the military reassigns your spouse you will have wished you were more organized. Make sure to keep 5 or more copies off all your families paperwork, and of all your higher priced items you may own. Keep track of your items and your personal paperwork so when you PCS it will make it that much smoother.
7. You are not your spouse’s rank.
There is a difference between being supportive of your spouse and thinking you ARE your spouse. Your spouse worked very hard for every award, every promotion, and during every deployment to wear the rank they have. Yes, I believe that a spouse’s accomplishments can be shared by those who supported them during their successes, but you are not them. Support your spouse, but do not take advantage of your spouse’s rank. Simply because your spouse is a Lt. does not mean that you get to be incredibly rude to an enlisted soldier’s spouse. Stay out of the drama and be your own person.
8. Read “5 Love Languages – Military Edition.”
This book is a life saver. It will not only teach you so much about your spouse, but you as well. The most difficult love language, personally, is physical touch. During a deployment physical touch cannot happen. The books give great examples of military spouses experiences with deployments and how to handle different love languages and make them work together in harmony.
9. Learn about your spouse’s job.
Most people will spend more time at work then at home. Learn about each other’s jobs and stay involved. The most important thing that many people forget to ask everyday is, “How was work?” Simply asking that question allows your spouse to vent about their day or express excitement about an activity at work. Pay attention and learn, it gets easier with time.
