By Hannah Brown
Nearly six months ago, my dad left for a short tour in Korea right after we moved from Georgia to Mississippi – a place we had been stationed before. Three weeks after my father flew away, my best friend, whom I’ve known for over half my life, moved away. Even before that, everyone I knew from our previous four years stationed at Keesler had already moved on. My friend Aurea went to England, Kaitlyn and Brooke went to Washington, and Ellie went to Utah.
I had been left behind. What do I do now? I said to myself. (I talk to myself too much, but at least I know I’ll always have a fun conversation.) I knew it was time to make new friends.
For several years I was a girl scout. Our song is forever engraved in my brain:“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. A circle is round, it has no ends. That’s how long I want to be your friend.” I didn’t know at the time, but the wisdom in this song I learned at six years old would help process through military life several years later when every friend I had moved away.
Making new friends did not mean replacing the old ones. I can keep in touch with my old friends, making time to connect, while also building new friendships. I don’t have to choose between the two. When I joined a new youth group at church, I made a ton of new friends. Noah, a boy from the church, and I are very much alike. We both have crazy personalities and a weird sense of humor. Sophia, my friend from school, is also a milkid, and we have had tons of fun getting to know each other. Lastly Lily, from my youth group is really easy to talk to and fun to hang out with. While I made multiple new friends, I made a concentrated effort to keep in touch with my friends who lived elsewhere. One of my friends lives in Europe. Another lives in Florida. Three others live in Georgia.
Both old and new friendships are valuable and precious. There is one person I have known for most of my life and her dad is active-duty military too. Talia, has been a constant support and someone I can turn to for advice, comfort, or encouragement. My newest friend Sophia is kind and smart. She helps me with my Latin school work (Noah and I have nicknamed her Google Translate) and is always there when I need her. Both of these girls are super important to me, along with so many others I have met along the way. I make an effort to show each of them how much I appreciate them. I am so glad they are my friends.
Friendship in the milkid community is a necessary thing and a gift. Friendships are made, not found. You need to do the hard work of getting to know new people and be intentional about preserving the relationships you have already built.
Here’s my advice:
Get plugged in at your new school, at church, and in your own neighborhood. Show up in these places with an expectation of making at least one new friend.
Stay plugged in with people who left before you or left by you. Call, send cards, remember birthdays, and celebrate each other. Life as a milkid is hard and can be difficult because of all the moving and long separations from a parent.
We need each other.
It is a gift to have people to turn to that understand who can celebrate with you or cry if needed.
One more bit of advice, if you need a friend, be a friend.
Hannah Brown is a happy homeschooler in the 7th grade, big sister, and military missionary kid. She loves to spend time with her friends learning more about the Lord. You can find her curled up with a good book or video chatting with her friends all over the globe. Hannah wants to grow up to be a professional writer who shares stories of hope and courage.
