By: Brandi Jones
Feeling a sense of community and belonging is important, and no one knows the challenge better than a military family. Every couple years we find ourselves in a new city (or country!) with few friends and no family nearby. And the need for community is more than social. A true sense of belonging is like armor – it helps us feel less alone, more supported and even more resilient.
It’s difficult for everyone to seek out and make connections at new duty stations and seek out connections, but even more so for many BIPOC spouses like me.
As a military spouse for nearly two decades and the granddaughter of a Black Revolutionary War veteran, it has always concerned me that the majority of spouse clubs and organizations lack a sense of community for our historically underserved populations. Since the founding of this nation BIPOC have served in every battle; yet, we are still not received with “open arms” in some military family spaces. Don’t believe me? Go check out the social media accounts and look at pictures of events and gatherings of most local military spouse clubs, and you’ll likely see the near total absence of Black, Indigenous and People of Color.
A recent Blue Star Families study on “The Diverse Experiences of Military & Veteran Families of Color” offers multiple anecdotes from spouses of color that reinforce this perception. One Black Military Spouse said, “I wanted to join a spouses club to try to feel a better sense of belonging in our new assignment and quickly realized I was the only person of color around. It made some social interactions very awkward.” A spouse identifying as Hispanic/Latina said, “Racist comments are always said in active-duty units and in spouse areas (i.e. spouse clubs, PWOC, etc.). I have not witnessed anyone speaking out against it.” The Report concludes that, “Addressing disparities affecting military families of color is a matter of national security and necessary to ensure long-term military readiness.” I agree.
Having a heart for community outreach, coupled with an extensive background in cultural inclusion, I have made it my mission to work with people from all walks of life to raise awareness and bring change to military communities. While serving as the first Black president of my local spouse club, I brought something different to that organization, but I also quickly realized that achieving actual inclusion is a different challenge all together.
For context, practitioner and writer Cynthia Olmedo explains the difference between diversity, inclusion and equity: “Diversity is being invited to the dance. Inclusion is being asked to Dance. Equity is allowing you to choose the Music.”
Without inclusion and equality within the military family group community, many underserved folks like myself are left without a true sense of belonging.
Some groups have been created to better support our BIPOC military spouses and families. One such organization is Esposas Militares Hispanas, founded by Janet Sanchez, supports Hispanic Military Spouses through providing the necessary tools to foster knowledge about military life for Spanish speaking members of our community.
Another group helping to support our historically underserved military families is Black Military Officers’ Spouses, led by Lauren Youngblood. From information sharing about cultural places to visit, to support after witnessing the murder of George Floyd by police, this space has provided a community that I had never experienced as a Black military spouse. “I started this group a few years ago in San Diego, which isn’t very Black at all. I had the idea while talking with a few other Black officers’ spouses, about how it was hard to meet other Black officer spouses,” Lauren said.. I envisioned a group where people could come and find their community at every place they PCS. I think the space allows us to comfortably address issues we face as Black military spouses. And gives us an opportunity to build a village in the places we PCS to.”
As the Organizer Director for Secure Families Initiative, I spearhead outreach and engagement efforts with a specific eye toward elevating BIPOC voices because I know how important it is to create a community where everyone feels invited, encouraged to participate, and empowered to lead the conversations. Between my unique background, education in DEI and lessons learned from the past clubs, I create community-based programs to diversify our advocacy. The cornerstone activity of this program was a four-part Roundtable Series where different BIPOC communities each convened to share their lived experience in the larger military community. After spending time listening to, and providing military BIPOC families a space to share and have their voices amplified SFI has found many Black, Hispanic, Indigenous and AAPI military families agree they are not represented or their culture within many military affiliated organizations, SFI has set out to change that!
On January 31st SFI will host a virtual Collective Voices Symposium, open to all military family members, veterans and community members. I know the challenges and the isolation military life brings. The purpose of this event is to highlight all voices within our community and learn from one another. This is our way of inviting all spouses to the dance, asking them to join us on the dance floor and encouraging them to choose the music. I hope you join us.
Brandi Jones is the Organizing Director at Secure Families Initiative, a nonpartisan nonprofit that mobilizes military families to vote and advocate for our communities.
