“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”
How often have you walked into a FRG meeting for the first time and made snap judgments about the people sitting in the room? Were you apprehensive to talk to the more seasoned wives because you felt like they were out of touch with how things are for the new spouses? Were you reluctant to welcome the male spouse into the fold because they are so rare it’s almost like spotting an endangered species? Did you fail to make friends at your new duty station because no one approached you first?
All of these things, these missed connections, come from our fear. Our fear of getting outside our comfort zone and instead making assumptions about people we know nothing about. How are you ever supposed to know that the wife of the nearly retired Chief has 20 years of experience to help you when you head to your next base if you don’t ask?
What if you miss out of a great job referral from that male spouse because you never talk to him long enough to find out he teaches at the school you’re trying to get hired at? And how sad would it be to miss out on having a perfect emergency contact and friend to wine with next door just because you’re too afraid to wave at the neighbor when you’re both out front.
These fears all lead to miscommunication and tension within a community of people who know exactly how you feel. No one understands better than another military spouse how chaotic this life can be. So why waste time being angry that things aren’t just falling into your lap when instead you can take that time to make connections that will help this world feel a little less isolated and a little less lonely.
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