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A Letter To My Friend, The Divorced Military Spouse

Amy Longworth by Amy Longworth
in Coping, Friends, Military Marriage
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Let me say this to you, from the bottom of my heart:

Remember not to doubt yourself.

I imagine — no, I know — that many people would hear of your young marriage, and your divorce, and jump to conclusions.

The concept of military marriage is tarred with negativity, stained by tales of infidelity and “weakness.”

Not you. Never, ever let go of the fact you did the right thing, that your ex-husband is slighted, but it is NOT YOU who lives with the consequence of your own wrong-doing.

Remember that however hard it seems, you can get through this.

Your marriage was faltering, and you kept on going. Your decision to leave left you crumpled, for a moment, but that’s all it is, in the grand scheme of life — a moment, and you’ve moved past that.

But then: As if letting go wasn’t painful enough, I know you have lost friends, heard rumors, and withstood tactless come-ons by other men.

It has been a long, hard few months for you. It has been grueling, and you’ve learned that people are harsh, but still — each day you wake up better, and before you know it, you will be happy again.

You will.

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