The FRG was limited at best, and I soon spiraled into an uncharacteristic sadness: I felt that change had failed me. Jealousy pricked at me when I heard about and saw the adventures of our friends, and I, (hardened with envy and tinged with a little despair), felt forgotten in the desert. I had been relying on the “grass-is-greener” mentality to lead us to higher planes, but we had instead found ourselves stuck out on a lonely butte, quite literally.
Every night I looked in the mirror and pelted myself with silent questions: What had happened? Who had I become? Why didn’t my personality (an all-exclusive package of charm and wit) work in this specific culture? Why was I being left behind? For someone who had a generally high sense of self-concept and esteem, I now struggled with my own personal identity crisis.
I, with everything that made me ME, was lost.