Photos courtesy of Sara Wilkinson
After 21 years of service – Navy SEAL Senior Chief Chad Wilkinson took his life on October 29, 2018. The aftermath of his decision left his family in despair and on a mission to stop other veterans from making the same irreparable choice.
His wife, Sara Wilkinson, was always prepared for him to die. As a SEAL, their more dangerous missions added a higher risk than the average service member. But she never prepared for him to be the one to end it.
“I don’t think there’s any way I could ever experience a shock like that again in my life and I think his family and my family would echo the same thing. Many of the guys he worked with would come to my house and say ‘If this could happen to Chad, it could happen to any of us’,” she shared.
Before that fateful date which changed everything, Chad was known as an extraordinary operator, leader and family man. Both his father and uncle had been SEALs, making it a lifelong goal for him. When he died he was part of SEAL Team 6, also known as the Naval Special Warfare Development Group – widely known to comprise the most elite special operators in the world.
Though he walked away from all of his missions seemingly intact – there were invisible wounds on his brain from blast exposure.
“We donated his brain to research and he had what’s called interface astral glial scarring,” Sara explained. “Shooting guns, breaching doors and everything in between. That kind of concussive movement to the brain causes significant trauma.”
Two years before his suicide, Chad went in for extensive testing which revealed he did in fact have a TBI. Though she noticed him acting a bit “off” in the three weeks leading up to his death, Sara never imagined this would be the end result.
“I don’t know how Chad felt but in my mind, it really hurts to think that he might have thought that I would be better off without him,” she shared. “Not only is that completely incorrect, in a lot of ways – it feels like betrayal. He didn’t even give me the chance to help. I know that I’ve always proven myself to be a solid teammate. And so that’s pretty heavy.”
According to the Department of Defense, suicide among active-duty service members increased by 41.4% from 2015 to 2020. But despite the continually escalating numbers – the military as a whole has a long track record of being more reactive and proactive. It’s something she hopes to change.
“We talk a lot about mentally what they’ve seen and experienced in things like the loss of their friends. But when these veterans serve so much time and whether they’re injured overseas or in training, have TBIs – I always kind of refer to it as systemic derailment,” Sara said. “But it’s not just mental because it becomes physical, where they just feel bad and their bodies hurt. Coupled with constant headaches and lack of sleep, it’s a big problem. You hear people say things like it was the perfect storm and maybe that’s what it is. Many of them maybe just get to a point where they just don’t want to hurt anymore.”
In 2020, Sarah partnered with GORUCK to encourage the Chad 1000x workout in his honor for Veterans Day. It was a box step-up routine he’d do with a 45-pound pack to stay fit for mountain climbs and arduous missions for the teams. Since then, they’ve raised over $226k for suicide prevention each year.
As she enters into another year without Chad, she implored military spouses and significant others especially to take the approach of a TSA agent.
“If you see something, absolutely say something. It’s hard being a military spouse and it is not for the faint of heart. But it is part of your job to safeguard their health when they’re home. I live a permanent consequence to a decision I didn’t get to make that’s very hard and it sucks really bad,” Sara shared.
She had a message for the military members, too.
“Whoever your person is in your life. In addition to you joining the military and being part of the bigger team, you chose that person to be on your team. Give them the option to help you when you can’t help yourself.”
