Dear Big, Blended Military Families

Are you a big blended military family? We are with you and you are not alone, although it may feel like you are.

I was married to a soldier and after eight years of many bumps along the road we divorced. Being a 19-year-old army wife was hard, stressful, and a giant learning curve but filled with invaluable life lessons.

Love often tends to lead you in unexpected ways, and a few years after my divorce I married my current husband Anthony…another soldier. I brought three kids into my new marriage and my husband brought a daughter from his previous marriage. We decided to have one more together and were blessed with a sweet little boy. If you are keeping count that brings the grand total to five kiddos, which is enough for our own basketball team!

We are a big, beautiful, blended military family and it seems to be something that I have had a hard time relating to with other military spouses (I think more because it is not talked about than because there are few of us out there).

I always felt like the odd one out sitting there at FRG meetings: two marriages, five kids and a whole new world to learn about and adjust to both as a blended family and as a remarried military wife. I have gotten the confused looks or questions when I talk about my experience with multiple deployments, or field trainings knowing I have only been with my current husband for a few years.

There have also been times I have felt like an inconvenience to my friends or a burden to those I have had to ask for a hand and it made me feel discouraged and alone in my word. As any good military spouse would do though, I tried to stay involved, make friends and carry on. With love in my heart and tasks on my calendar, I powered through the best way I knew how. I supported my husband, took care of the household and continued my schooling and before long realized I was not alone.