Take people at face value.
I remember my first experience with an active duty female. It was unpleasant. She was the physician assigned for my initiation into the military healthcare system, which (lucky me!) happened to be a GYN appointment. She was crude, rude, and even physically rough to my 20-year-old self. I felt that I had offended her somehow and was absolutely baffled. When I mentioned it to a friend later, she said, “Oh yes, never go to her. We all know she hates spouses.” And her behavior and reputation seemed to back that up. But I didn’t walk away from that experience saying, Wow, obviously all active duty females are mean and angry (and if that happened to me now, I would know to file a complaint!). No, what I thought was, Wow, what a colossal jerk. I didn’t pigeonhole active duty females forever and ever amen.
Maybe we could all agree to give each other the benefit of the doubt. To extend a little grace. And if you do run across someone nasty and hateful or superior and arrogant, how about realizing that perhaps they are simply that as a person, vs. forming a conclusion about ALL or even a segment of military spouses?
Remember-we’re all someone’s son or daughter.
My oldest son is in the midst of basic training right now. These days, more than ever, when I’m greeted at the base gate by a fresh-faced young troop, I think, that’s someone’s son or daughter. Even if we are unable to find common ground as spouses, even if we’ll never be best friends, let’s remember that. That person you’re mocking or writing off? They’re important to someone.
