The 3 Pillars to Live a Satisfied Life

As we go about our lives, it is very easy to get caught up in the monotony of the daily grind and worn down with the jam-packed calendar we all seem to possess. Simply put, sometimes we are too busy “doing” life to really “live” life! I would encourage you to step back and think about the mindset you are utilizing to navigate this frenetic pace. Are you reactive, weary and operating on auto-pilot? Or are you mindful about your actions, intentions and response to the world? In order to shift to the latter frame of mind, we must operate proactively, or with what I call a “PRE” mindset. “Pre” is a commonly used prefix meaning “before,” “in advance of” or “in front of.” And although I believe you should use the model laid out below “before” responding to the world around us, “Pre” in this context means so much more. “PRE” stands for Praise , Recognition and Encouragement and are the three pillars to authentic engagement with others and with ourselves. Let’s take a closer look at each pillar: 1. Praise Praise is the universal source of motivation that fuels the fires of human effort and energy. The best news is that it is a renewable, free and infinite source of energy! Unfortunately, the majority of people today don’t receive any feedback, let alone unsolicited positive feedback, in their in their daily lives. Let’s do something to change the status quo and praise our co-workers, spouses, and children when they least expect it. However, we must temper our enthusiasm to ensure that it does not become bland, empty praise. Effective Praise is: Specific. Look for a certain action or accomplishment to point out, the more obscure the better! Sincere. People can spot empty or fake praise a mile away. Be sure to only offer praise when you truly mean it. Also, don’t hesitate to point out something that seems obvious to you; oftentimes people are “blind” to their own talents because they come so naturally to them. Solo. Steer clear of qualifying a praise statement with a lingering “but” and never offer praise and ask for a favor in the same conversation. It makes the praise seem like a set-up. Let the praise stand by itself! 2. Recognize Recognition is similar to praise, but can encompass both positive and negative emotions. The act of recognizing someone is an acknowledgement that you “see” them, that you empathize with their situation. There is immense power in looking someone in the eye and celebrating a recent promotion or holding the space for them during the death of a family. The time spent isn’t necessarily important; the magic of recognition is sharing an authentic exchange that reinforces each person is important and their lives have meaning. This recognition gets harder and harder as our society moves towards more digital interaction and face-to-face contact decreases. Whenever possible, connect with others in person. If in-person meetings are not possible, try and set aside the proper time for that recognition. 3. Encourage Encouragement is the act of giving someone support, confidence or hope when they are faced with a challenging situation. By authentically conveying your belief, you can inspire action in others. This non-judgmental source of motivation also sets people up for success by allowing them to focus on what they can control (the effort itself or what they learned from the experience) instead of the variables (personal opinions or outcomes). Look for instances where you can be a positive source of encouragement to those around you . The PRE model will dramatically change the way in which you interact with those in your daily life. Imagine the foundation you will build with your children when you make a conscious effort to praise, recognize and encourage them every single day. This intentional act ensures that you are connecting with your child on deeper level and models a positive and inquisitive mindset that they can use to navigate the tumultuous world they face. PRE also ensures that spouses aren’t merely going through the motions, but that they are intentionally investing time and energy into their partner. PRE is also useful in a professional setting as well. Although the subject matter of conversations may be different, the underlying truth is still the same. Your employees and team members want to feel like they matter, that someone values their contributions and wants them to succeed. The PRE methodology allows managers to connect with their employees in an efficient, authentic manner and empowers employees to be actively engaged in the organization’s mission. We can’t always rely on others to provide the praise, recognition and encouragement that we need to thrive. As we become more self-aware, we need to be able to activate PRE internally. A great example of this is with physical fitness. Instead of beating ourselves up about our current state of wellness, why not institute the PRE principles? Take the time to praise yourself by celebrating a new PR in weight lifting. Recognize (without judgment) that you need to hold yourself accountable during those early morning workouts but that every now and then you need a day to sleep in and recover. And most importantly, encourage yourself to move farther along your fitness journey; search for lessons learned when you miss a goal time on a race or make note of finishing a tough workout that you never thought you could complete. Be your own cheerleader; after all, you should be the subject matter expert. When you figure out how to fuel your own fire, the possibilities (just like the fuel source) are endless!

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