Dear Mindy,
I am newly married and my husband just finished basic training. We are set on our very first move. This will be my first time ever being away from my hometown, my family, my friends and everyone I care about. I am so scared it is making me sick. I love my husband very much, but I am not sure how I can handle moving to a new place. Is it normal to feel like this?
Sincerely,
Scared Sick
Dear Scared Sick,
First things first: Take a deep breath. There is a part of me that wants to say, “suck it up, buttercup” only because I have been married for 12+ years and been to so many new places. But then I think back to when I first got married. I was scared to death. Not to mention I was pregnant. I had no idea what to do, who to ask or where to go. Those are probably the questions floating in your mind right now and I understand and yes it is normal.
Every “seasoned” spouse has probably felt the same way; all of us have been in your shoes. We have all been scared at one point in our military lives. One thing I try to instill in every new spouse is that MILITARY IS FAMILY. You may not know this yet, but your new brother or sister is waiting for you at your next station; you’ll meet that one person who will make everything wonderful (besides your husband). You will have so many resources at your fingertips to help for a smooth transition, but the one thing that will make it amazing is a best friend. As a Military Spouse you will learn to make friends fast and those relationships will mold and grow into love. My first military best friend and I still talk to this day.
Don’t sell yourself short, my dear, you and your husband are in this together. I highly suggest hitting the Internet and social media to find a person or group that is local to the installation you are going. You will be able to make friends before you even arrive. Be sure to look on Militaryspouse.com and the Community Forum and you may be able to find a Spouse of the Year who will be glad to be a guiding hand.
As they say in the military, “We’ve got your 6.” Military is Family and it is a bond that is strong. Good Luck, Buttercup. And if you ever need me just shoot me an email!
