3 Reasons Self Care Should Be A Priorirty

I work in crisis services at a domestic violence shelter, so it goes without saying that self-care is vital to my job. However, when I first started in social services, I didn’t even know what self-care was, and when I started working with survivors, it became obvious that as a society, we lack even the most basic education on self-care. It’s not just advocates and victims of violence who need to be regularly practicing self-care. All of us can reap the many benefits of making time for ourselves, and as military spouses, we might need a little extra self-love and nurturing as we face the many stresses of deployments, moves, and general uncertainty that comes with the lifestyle. Unfortunately, most military spouses I know rarely put their needs ahead of others. We search for ways to make our spouses time at home less stressful, like washing their uniforms or picking up extra duties around the house, we keep our families as our first priority, worrying about our children who may notice one parent isn’t around, and we reassure concerned family members and friends. We're experts on offering help, but never think about asking for it. But by never putting ourselves first, burning-out becomes easy. How can we really nurture others, when we aren’t taking care of ourselves? It may seem daunting to start taking a look within, to start thinking about what we really need (and want!) to make ourselves happy, but self-care can be more simple than you think. Taking care of ourselves can include anything as simple and universal as drinking enough water, as well as activities specific to our many interests, like painting outdoors or going to dance classes at a local studio. The benefits of self-care, however, can be felt by us all. Here are just a few reasons why self-care should be an essential part of our lives: 1. Self-care helps us feel healthy, both physically and mentally. We all know how important it is to get enough sleep, eat healthy, and get regular exercise, but self-care goes beyond that. When we engage in activities we genuinely enjoy, like cooking or reading a new book, we can clear our minds, feel more energized and see more positivity in our day-to-day lives. When I first started my self-care journey, I learned that a traditional work-out was not necessarily healthy for me. Since I was 16-years-old, I’ve struggled with body image issues, and lifting weights or doing cardio at the gym often became more about counting calories and doing body checks rather than feeling good about myself. But then I started practicing yoga, a physical activity that focuses on a mind-body connection, I felt the physical benefits of exercise without the negativity I associated with the gym. I also noticed that I was more alert and aware of my feelings after an hour at the studio, and that I was more likely to see the good in others and myself. Yoga isn't everyone's self-care solution, but exploring what works best for you is half the fun. The health benefits of self-care will show up in different ways, but they’re possible whether you’re getting an extra serving of veggies a day, or going to therapy . 2. Self-care allows us to improve our relationships and foster new ones. Have you ever noticed how differently you interact with others when you’ve had something to eat or had a second of free time during the day? Self-care allows us to give our all in our relationships, whether that be with our partners, family members, or friends. We feel more connected when we take care of ourselves, and that allows us to have more meaningful interactions with others. My husband is currently working 12-hour days, seven-days a week, with little or no breaks between. I usually get to see him an hour or two a day, and that little bit of time is sacred to me. The days that I’ve been able to get my yoga practice in or write in my journal, we spend that time laughing, walking the dogs, or simply enjoying each others company. I’m always sad when he leaves to head back to work, but I can appreciate the closeness we’ve had for the day. On the other hand, when my day has been stressful, and I haven’t made the time for myself, it’s much more likely that we get in an argument about the dishes or, ironically, about how little we see each other. Self-care can also help us foster new relationships. When we’re happier and healthier, we may be more likely to reach out to others. Plus, finding new ways to engage in self-care, like joining a book club or taking a walk outdoors, may help us meet new friends, which as we all know can be difficult with each new PCS order. 3. Self-care can help us accomplish our goals and succeed in our careers. While changing our physical habits and engaging in new activities are important parts of self-care, looking at the way we think is also necessary. When we make a change from negative self-talk (e.g. “I look fat today,” or “I wish I was a better Mom”) to thinking and talking positively about ourselves, we can become more productive and successful. It’s hard to make goals or keep them if we aren’t empowering ourselves with positivity. Self-care requires us to treat ourselves like our own best friends. Of course, making changes in our thought patterns is easier said than done, so taking small steps toward positive thinking, like writing out the attributes we like about ourselves, or envisioning negative thoughts as bubbles we can pop or let float away, can get us started on the right path. And when we make that effort day after day, self-care starts to take less and less effort. Soon, it becomes habit and an integral part of our lives. If this whole self-care thing is brand new to you, there are many ways to get started. You can check out dozens of self-care ideas on The Self-Compassion Project , try one of the University at Buffalo’s many self-care assessments or plans, or, if you’re a Pinterest addict like me, simply search for “self-care” and enjoy. And if you suddenly feel stressed out thinking about self-care, take a deep breath, and remember that you deserve, at the very least, ten minutes a day that are all about you. I promise you’re worth it. Connect with us on Facebook!

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