2020 has challenged us as military spouses, unlike ever before. Yes, we’re used to being separated from extended family, but this year was intense, even for us.
We’ve experienced the loss of some of our most loved family and friends, isolation during childbirth, quarantine after redeployment, and the cancellation of life’s most memorable events. Throughout the hardships were lessons— lessons for us to learn and some for us to teach. Here are 21 things to start or stop this year. First, let’s leave those old, useless habits behind. This year, let’s create something we can be proud of. However, before we can dive into the new, we must purge the old.
21 things you can stop this year
Take one at a time and work on it! Maybe even set a new toxic behavior each month to work toward elimination from your life.
- Procrastinating
- Carrying grudges
- Saying I can’t
- Doubting yourself
- Limiting yourself
- Comparing yourself to others
- Indulging in bad habits
- Overthinking
- Glamorizing struggle
- Overworking
- Minimizing your achievements
- Remaining in toxic relationships
- Forgoing rest
- Negative self talk
- Isolating yourself
- Being passive
- Creating unrealistic expectations
- Being pessimistic
- Waiting for a sign
- Shrinking yourself
- Suppressing your feelings
Whew, now that we’ve got that out of the way. Let’s start something new. Creating new habits takes time. To be successful, you have got to make that positive, healthy, or hard choice over and over again. What’s something that’s existed in you that you’ve never allowed to come to fruition? Try it! There’s no better time to try that new recipe, take that new course, or achieve that next level than now. Just take it one at a time…
21 things you can start this year
- Communicating with friends and family more
- Appreciating the small things
- Making time for the things you love
- Saying I love you more
- Volunteering
- Setting personal boundaries
- Practicing self-care
- Creating new, healthy habits
- Resting when you’re tired
- Being more flexible
- Exploring new ideas
- Interacting with new people
- Rewarding yourself more
- Planning your day’s tasks
- Speaking kindly to yourself
- Creating space for yourself
- Encouraging others
- Chasing your dreams
- Being optimistic
- Giving to the less fortunate
Lastly, whatever you decide,
21. Be intentional
This life is the only one we’ve got (unless you’re a cat or vampire). So, why not live it the way you want? Happy. Do the scary thing and conquer it! Shonda Rhimes said— (wait, please tell me you know who Shonda Rhimes is – the creator of Greys Anatomy, Scandal, and so many other amazing shows?) I digress. Anyway, In her book, Year of Yes, she said, “Not a single woman in the room could handle being told, You’re awesome. I couldn’t handle being told I am awesome. What the hell is wrong with us?” She went on to say,
I’m going to say yes to accepting any and all acknowledgments of personal fabulous awesomeness with a clear, calm “Thank you,” a confident smile, and nothing more.
As if you needed permission to be great or to exude greatness. No, my friend, you are awesome! Take that, put it in your mental bank, and use it as needed. Cheers to a new year and a new, even more, awesome you!
