Last year Military Spouse did a series of anonymous confession articles, giving our writers a chance to share their thoughts on topics they had previously been nervous about sharing publicly. The series was a big hit and gave us the chance to delve into some discussions that had previously not been explored due to their sensitive nature. As a part of that series I wrote a piece titled “Weary Military Spouse Confessions.” The response to the piece was powerful.
(Read the original article here: “Weary Military Spouse Confessions”)
To those who know me, it may surprise them to learn that I chose to write about this topic anonymously. As an over sharer on both social media and in my writing, there is not much that I am afraid to discuss, especially when it comes to anything military spouse related. Criticism of my words, while it may sting from time to time, has never stopped me from being honest and open. Yet writing about being weary of this life was something that made me incredibly nervous.
Was I nervous about my husband’s career? No. I can honestly say that thought never really crossed my mind. I didn’t think that I was saying anything WRONG. I wasn’t bashing the military in the piece. They have a very important job to do, and while I do think it in their best interest to continue to progress in areas of family support, I realize that there are some frustrations about being married to a service member that just come with the job. Expressing my weariness doesn’t mean I wanted anyone to FIX anything. I just felt like certainly I could not be the only one feeling this way… and that perhaps if we could actually talk about it, we could deal with it more effectively.
Was I worried that people would judge me and call me weak? Yes. I have to admit, that was my main concern. Military spouses are supposed to be tough, right? We hear it all the time. “I don’t know how you do it… I could never do that.” We are married to some pretty strong men and women and there is a pressure to never minimize that by whining or admitting that we are struggling. THEY have the really stressful jobs… we don’t have room to complain.
Despite my instinct that others might also be feeling the same way, I shied away. What if it was just me? What if everyone told me just to suck it up? What if I was judged as a whiny, weak military spouse.
And then the article ran…