I have a tendency to overthink everything I do- but there’s one area of my life that time, war, and collected experiences have allowed me to get lost in moments- my job. As a photojournalist I’ve had the privilege of documenting life changing occasions but my experiences in the past few years and time as a military spouse have prodded me to reverence even greater occurrences-the often underwhelming and completely ordinary.
As I walked the hallways of an overcrowded church house I looked upon a collection of gorgeous imagery. I saw a common denominator cradled in frames, slideshows, and an array of photographic displays. In that moment I know longer cringed at the thought of a “selfie,” or a token photo at a ballet recital or even an iphone shot in a basement with horrid lighting. One by one I saw a beautiful woman surrounded by beautiful manifestations of a life drenched in adoration and love….And then I saw my photos of her.
So often as spouses we give a few dreams to follow our partners around the globe leaving behind unfinished business and works our hearts once longed to complete. If 5 1/2 years ago I had a glimpse of today I would be utterly confused as to why a driven woman decided to make animal noises to soothe unruly children for a photo opp rather than stay the course of my chosen field.
I had (have) really big dreams. Years ago I chose a career field that would enable me to help others, namely families. I chose social work. In order to practice I need my master’s degree and I have anxiously awaited my turn to finish my goals.. but life got in the way.. kids, the military, the military, more kids. Lately I have felt so unfulfilled. So unaccomplished. I ONLY TAKE PHOTOS… I’m not doing what I was meant to do..
I’m stagnant, not progressing. And then in an overcrowded meeting house I felt like God actually shouted at me. And in the the so appropriated words of my favorite children’s author I FELT the words “you’re here for a reason!”