You Know Your Spouse Has Been Deployed Too Long When…

My husband will soon leave on his first deployment…

Right now, he comes home almost every night, we sleep in the same bed and he kisses me goodbye when he leaves in the morning. I know this will soon come to an end, as his ship will go underway in just a few short months, and his 9-month deployment is looming closer and closer.

In order to try to prepare myself for the ups and downs I know I will face, I reached out to my fellow military spouses for some insight.

I asked them what it’s really like when their spouses are gone, and to give me the scoop on the tell-tale signs that they’ve been deployed too long. I received dozens of responses, and they had plenty of examples to share.

The funny ones:


  • “When you go to the doctor and they ask if you could be pregnant and you respond with a, ‘No, I’ve practiced abstinence for the past eight months.’”
  • “When you start mistaking the wine bottle for the water bottle.”
  • “When you have no one to talk to so you email them every single thought you have and they end up with 100 to 200 emails after two days of not being able to get to a computer.”
  • “When someone asks you what time it is, and you respond with what timezone he/she is in.”
  • “You hold one way conversations with your dogs and answer for them.”
  • “When you don’t care if you look like a gorilla.”
  • “You try to call his cellphone and get pissed when he doesn’t answer.”
  • “When you order your homecoming banner a week into deployment.”
  • “When you’re a hairy beast and you don’t care.”
  • “You spend hours decorating boxes like a kindergartener.”
  • “When you actually miss his farts and his messes.”