Sometimes it can feel like everything about the military lifestyle is designed to sink your marital boat. From the constant changes of stations, to the deployments, to the money issues stemming from the constant moves or deployments, it can feel like enough to drown anyone’s marital bliss in the seas of military life insanity.
However, it doesn’t have to if you don’t let it. Here are 5 ways to be an anchor in your military marriage and make sure nothing rocks your marital boat of bliss, no matter how stormy the weather.
1. Spill the beans
Feeling frustrated? Feeling stressed about your finances? Feeling like your husband or wife just won’t understand? Instead of bottling it up, sit down and talk about it or if you can’t talk to your spouse at the moment, email them about it. Communication is the foundation of a happy marriage and your spouse won’t know how you feel unless you talk to them about it. The more you bottle up your emotions, the more and more frustrated you’ll get until your feelings implode all over your marriage.
2. Be willing to go with the flow
This is possibly the most important aspect to a successful military relationship. You never know what rides in life your marriage is going to go on, but life feels even more turbulent and unpredictable in a military marriage. The sooner you accept that everything as you know it will change, and then will change again and again, the happier you both will be. It can feel like you can’t count on anything in a military relationship, but it’s important to remember that’s not entirely true because you can count on each-other.
3. Laugh together
The couple that acts like goofballs together stays together. Yes, sometimes it can feel hard to find reasons to smile with constant moves, financial stress or deployments, but life is too short to stress the small stuff and in the end, most of it will turn out to be small stuff. Next time you feel like both you and your spouse stressing out about something, try cracking a joke to break the ice. Heck, have a pillow or tickle fight. The situation may still be just as stressful when you’re done but you’ll both probably feel a lot closer and better able to handle together whatever life throws at you next.
4. Never stop dating your spouse
Marriage is a promise of love and commitment, but it’s not a guarantee. Don’t forget to find the time to keep the romance alive by going on a date with your spouse at least once a month or even more often if you can. This can be anything from a fancy dinner to a picnic in a park as long as it includes the two of you focusing on each other and nothing else.
5. See the positive
In life you always have two options, you can focus on the negative or strive to see the positive and this rule applies towards your marriage too. Next time your spouse does something that annoys you or you find yourself getting frustrated at them, try to take a step back and ask yourself “will whatever I’m upset about matter in five years?” If the answer is no, try to let whatever negative or frustrating thought you had about your spouse go & think of something positive that you appreciate about them instead. Negative and mean words you say to your spouse are like little cracks in a piece of glass. They start out small but over times as the cracks grow and multiply, eventually the glass shatters. Safeguard your marriage ahead of time by focusing on the positive and letting go of the little things that don’t matter.