The bathroom is hard to give up.
I joke about it, but really, the hardest change when it came to being married was suddenly sharing a bathroom. I hadn’t shared a bathroom with another person since the communal ones of college– and that was just with a bunch of girls on my floor. I had never shared a bathroom with a dude. Ever. John’s not a messy guy, but one day last summer, when John went to work, I sat in the bathroom and cried. Like a pansy, I know. I just had never realized I would have to give up having a bathroom to myself when we got married– it never crossed my mind. (Now, go ahead and laugh. I know it’s a silly thing!)
We’re a family already.
“Thinking about starting your family?” It’s a common question we get– especially when we’re meeting new people who hear that we’re newlyweds. In the military community, it can feel like we’re not a legitimate family– after all, there are tons of families (some with parents younger than we are) with cute kids. We’re not sure what will happen with children– but we’re not feeling pressured to make the decision any time soon. We’re already a complete family.
I’m really, really glad I hyphenated.
Before we got married– before we were even dating– I had made the decision that I wouldn’t solely take my husband’s last name (if I happened to ever get married, that is). But it was really hard for me to decide what my last name would be. Should I keep my last name entirely? Hyphenate? Do something different like combine them both? Use my maiden name as a second middle name?
After a lot of tears (I’m sorry, I’m a crier!) and soul-searching, I made the decision to hyphenate my last name. I may have raised some eyebrows (I’d like to think society is more advanced than that), and I may have to deal with some annoying stuff when it comes to records or the way people write it, but I am so glad that I hyphenated. It’s the perfect way to honor and merge both of my identities and families– the one that raised me and the one that I married into. It’s a name that I’m really proud of (if you type my name into Google, I’m literally the only person in the entire world with it) and one that we’re both comfortable with and protective of.
The first year of marriage goes by fast. Don’t sit back and let it happen. Go do stuff. Have fun. Be awesome – have a year worth remembering.