So, after much discussion, and many sleepless nights, we have made the decision to live in separate states for close to one year as we await my husband’s retirement. We have chosen the area, with an excellent high school and a great band program for our oldest, in a climate that we know I tolerate well and where I will have access to the doctors I need, and is only a couple of hours away from both sets of grandparents. We had chosen this location as our “forever” home a few years ago; it has a small town feel, but is close enough to bigger cities, beaches, a military base, great schools, etc. We are confident in our decision of location, and we are confident in our decision for me and the girls to move ahead of my husband.
But I am also scared to death. I know so many couples who have made this choice and have thrived as a result. I have heard horror stories of it breaking up marriages, but those are stories…I don’t actually know anyone this has happened to personally. We are trying to look at this just like a deployment, which I have handled well on my own in the past, but a deployment with benefits so to speak. We are in a place financially where we will be able to travel throughout the year to see each other. We won’t have the same level of worry about one another that we did during deployment. I know he is safe in his location, and he knows that I have family support close by in my location. We are starting to iron out the details of managing two living arrangements for a year, moving, finances, etc. Things are falling into place.
But I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a knot in my stomach about the entire thing. Someone recently suggested that perhaps that meant we were making the wrong decision. Here’s the thing, when I consider staying here for another year and putting my daughter through changing high schools, putting my health at further risk, and spending another year away from our families… I have a knot in my stomach too. And that one is much, much larger.
That’s the funny thing about this wonderful military life. In order to support our service member’s career sometimes we are forced to choose from two (or ten) not so great choices. We choose our knot, so to speak. Then we figure out a way to make it work.
What factors have played a part in your decision to geo-bach or stay together as a family over the years? Comment below!
For another view on “geo-baching,” check out “UN-geobaching: Learning to be a Family Under One Roof.”