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Dreading the Friendship-Dating Scene, Again.

Stacy Huisman
tagged: PCS, Friendships, Moving, Making New Friends
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Wine is served better with friendship.

With every PCS, I’m forced to start dating again – friendship-dating, that is.

Picture this.  A speed dating service for military spouses, but instead of looking for a hot date, the service helps us find friends in a new community.   Doesn’t that sound like a wonderful idea?  What should we call it? or ?

I just PCS’d - again.  Nothing but boxes and paper and unfinished rooms surround me, my children are bored out of their minds and need more than their mom and Wii to play with.  I don’t know a soul in Ohio.  A few weeks ago, I left the best group of friends and the “Dream Team” of military spouses.  Now, I have to start over, again.  I’m fantasizing of this imaginary online friendship matching service and if it were real, I would join in a hot second.  

Finding and making new friends and re-building my support network after a move is a lot like dating again.  And I hated the dating scene when I was single.

First, I have to leave the house.  New friends are not going to find me while I’m under a ton of cardboard boxes, engulfed in dull brown paper and tripping on random items lying around the house.  However, I can’t just wander outside in my ugly yoga pants and torn t-shirt.  No, I actually have to make an effort before I leave the house because you never know if I might run into a potential friend at Target or the park.

Today is the day, I can’t take it anymore. I need to talk to someone else besides my kids.   I put on my cutest “mom” clothes, run a brush through my hair and head out the door with children in tow.   I can do this.  To park I go, hoping to find a neighbor or another mom to connect with.  

I spot someone who has the same age children I have at the park.  I take a deep breath, wondering when is the right time to approach her. What could I ask her to start a conversation? Maybe she is new, as well?  She could be waiting to find a new bestie, too. I’m so nervous.  I frantically review different scenarios and questions in my head, hoping not to sound desperate.


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